Kínlenska

“We have achieved good progress in standardizing English translations on signs,” Liu Yang of the Foreign Affairs Office told a press conference in Beijing, “but more needs to be done. Menus are being checked for items like ‘fried crap,’ ‘acid food,’ or Big Bowl Fresh Immerse Miscellaneous Germ.’ And 6,530 road signs have already been replaced, including the red neon sign that used to say ‘Dongda Hospital for Anus and Intestine Disease.’ that now says ‘Dongda Proctology Hospital’.”

The Chinese capital is replacing thousands of poorly-translated signs ahead of the 2008 Olympics, but many British visitors lament their disappearance. “It’s too bad,” said student Ian McCulloch, “because they give the city a little more character. It’s almost worth a walk down the street, just to see ‘pubic toilets,’ or ‘harsh browns,’ or a wet-floor sign reading ‘To take notice of safe: The slippery very crafty’.”

“But Mr Liu insisted that the changes were necessary. “We must replace the signs on handicapped toilets that say ‘deformed men’ and the meeting place for ethnic minorities that is currently signposted as ‘Racist Park.’ Some of these translations are really problematic and not so polite.”

- private eye, july 20